Black motherhood with
Atahja & Aiko
A conversation about the importance of Black motherhood, self-care and the experience of
raising a Black girl.
raising a Black girl.
What is the most fulfilling and hardest part about raising a Black woman?
In my opinion the most fulfilling part of raising a Black woman is being able to pass down traditions. When I say traditions I mean tools and skills I have learned from my mother and so on and so forth. For example, I have been taught to cook for my own family, bathe/groom myself correctly, and how to braid. Oh how far the list could go on.
The hardest part about raising a Black woman is teaching her the value that she has. In this world, the Black woman is the most disrespected, unprotected, and neglected person in the world. It will be difficult, but as a mother I will fight with all my might to make sure that the Black queen I am raising never drops her crown.
Black mothers are ...
Black mothers are ... brilliant, resilient, kind, nurturing, beautiful, and one of a kind.
How has being a mom influenced how you see the world and yourself?
Where do I even start, me becoming a mother has completely flipped my world upside down. Prior to me being a mother, I had no knowledge of any actual goals for myself. I always winged it like I'll figure it out one day or had a who cares type of attitude. Now that I have a child, I understand that life is bigger than me. I now have goals and have things that I look forward to. I had absolutely no motivation before and was living day by day, indulging in the wrong things and hanging with the wrong crowds. I have learned that this is a cruel world and that the streets do not love you. It is a dog eat dog world, you can either eat or be eaten. I am raising my child to eat, not to be consumed by worldly possessions or no good frenemies. The children of this world are the future and with God's help they will make it a better place.
How do you prioritize your self-care and relationship with yourself while being a mom?
I prioritize self care and relationship with myself by making sure I have my nails done, eyelashes refilled, or even buying matching intimates. It is the little things that help to keep you grounded when you feel you are losing the balance between motherhood and self care. When you look good, you feel good.
What does self-care look like for you?
Self care means a lot of things to me whether its keeping myself up to par, having a bowl of popcorn along with a glass of wine, or even over indulging in reruns of Grey's Anatomy. It is a moment that I can say to myself, you got this. Keep going.
What is a typical day for you and your daughter ?
A typical day for my daughter and I look like… hugs and kisses. School and work, fun and learning, car rides with sing alongs. A typical day for my daughter and I feel like…..when you come home to a clean room and a cooked meal, when you come in from going out and taking off some heels, when you take a shower at night, when you itch that scratch, when eat your favorite ice cream, or when you first see the baby you just birthed and fall in love. My daughter is my actual best friend. I have never in my life felt a love as strong as I feel for her. She makes me happy when I am down, she makes life a little easier and gives me purpose to keep going. I always say that I believe God knew what he was doing when he blessed me with such an angel. She is smart, funny, and way beyond her years. As I write this I have tears falling, I am FOREVER GRATEFUL.